There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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