She's JV to your varsity
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
