Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
