I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
