it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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