Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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