I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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