I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
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I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dicks are not precious.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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