Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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