so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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