He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
