Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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