It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
