The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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