I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
