I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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