Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
