ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
