i barfeds in our rink
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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