u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
