margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
