Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
