she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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