I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Boobs are out for the taking
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
