I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
