I seem to have left my pride at pride
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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