just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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