Whod you bang
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
