Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My liver is preforming stress tests.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
