Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
