i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize