found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
