I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
