Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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