girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
