this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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