The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
