Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
