I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
