Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
