Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
