i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My bed smells like the plague
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
