I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize