dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
