the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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