so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
