dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
