He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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