Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
