I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
