the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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