u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
