My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
