The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
