Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
