i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
