life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
