Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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